Sara Watches Stuff

Ever wanted to peek back in time and glance at what life was like in the late 00s? You might think "Hey, I'll watch Picture This starring Ashley Tisdale!" As someone who vividly remembers 2009 in spite of desperate attempts to repress it, I can conclusively say that this is not what life was like in the late 00s. This movie is garbage. The only explanation I can think of for this movie is that it takes place in an alternate universe. Nothing makes sense. It’s high school, but it’s a weird version of high school where Ashley Tisdale is the Total Loser (she wears glasses! Only nerdy losers wear glasses!) and popularity is defined by wealth. Sure, except Ashley Tisdale’s Mandy is supposed to be on the outs and her house is comically large and her father showers her in expensive gifts? There are so many dark things hinted at that get zero explanation: a side character’s mother has a severe drinking problem, there is casual witchcraft, lost children, and the tiny fact that ...

2009′s  The Stepfather  is a remake of the 1987 thriller with Terry O’Quinn (Locke-from-Lost) with both focusing on a serial killer whose MO is worming his way into the lives of single mothers before going on to the serial killing thing. It’s a real long play.  It’s pretty clean when it comes to scares and kills, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but coupled with the smattering of overacting and the heavy passing back and forth of the idiot ball and the whole thing stands true to the reputation of PG-13 horror.  For all of its cheesiness, it does boast a surprisingly recognisable cast (Penn Badgley and Amber Heard as highschoolers, the latter constantly in a bikini which is both sleazy and so pleasing to my little queer heart; Dylan Walsh as the serial-killing-step-father and Sela Ward from my sneaky CSI days as his current target) and the cat and mouse game is quite a fun ride, but it never truly escapes or even embraces the stupidity of decisions made or the ...