Sara Watches Stuff

It's been a while since I've written about movies! I've been sick, trying desperately to make it to the end of my degree, and watching predominantly television. I have a lot of thoughts about, say, the racial politics on this season of RuPaul's Drag Race or on the casting problems with The Bachelorette or on the importance of kind television a la Queer Eye or Nailed It but the movies sitting in my drafts have been left unremarked upon. That ead against all changes now. Time to ease back in with something that doesn't make me want to bang my head against my computer for discursive reasons but rather for very different reasons: let's talk about the new Jurassic World movie. I've never written about a Jurassic Park movie on this blog, but my history with the franchise is not one worth extensive literature. I watched the first movie in about sixth grade, and presumably there was some theoretical basis for that because I remember looking forward to classes ...

There are movies with great ingredients that cannot succeed in spite of themselves. 2015's teenage spy rom com Barely Lethal is sadly one of the prime example of that, because for all of the elements that might be deemed watchable or all of the things you might think would make it good, no amount of charisma can pull writing like this out of the garbage. I am not one to over critique teenage girl movies while giving male fantasy a pass. I love Fast & Furious movies shamelessly, but I also will defend teenage girl franchises to the end of time. I can critique the issues with the Twilight movies while finding the vitriol directed at them to be absurd and disproportionate (Lindsay Ellis has an excellent video essay on this topic that I recommend to everyone). There is nothing wrong for making movies for or about teenagers, and there have been some excellent - or even just serviceable - ones in recent years! They can be problematic as all hell, but still elevate their material b...

The last time I wrote about The Bachelor franchise at length , my relationship with the series was in a very different place. Being a fan of such an overwhelmingly straight, overwhelmingly white  series has never been unproblematic: it's a constant acknowledgement of your part in the furthering of conservative and oppressive narratives. It was a more innocent time as well - I was cautiously optimistic about Rachel Lindsay's season as The Bachelorette heralding better representation! I hadn't yet seen her abysmal treatment at the hands of the media and the show itself, casting a Literal Racist Who Equated Black Lives Matter Activists With Terrorists. We also hadn't seen the appalling mishandling of the Bachelor in Paradise consent incident involving Corinne and Demario, in which race was neglected from the discussion and personality was used to dismiss allegations. Then came a season with a lead both difficult and boring, and I feel as though my relationship with the fra...

Lots of people have written reviews for Ava Duvernay's adaptation of Madaline L'Engle's book A Wrinkle in Time , and look, it hasn't been pretty. It's sitting on a Rotten Tomatoes 40%, and it's tangled up in grossness. Disregard any review that whinges about people who only like this movie for representation, or that the diversity in this movie is forced, because both of those things are every bit as a bogus as the make believe world that this movie takes place in. The people making those statements are often the same people who'll rush to say that a review should be about the movie and the movie alone, and it's rare that I'll agree with that, because meaning and intent are deeply entwined with what you watch. It can't be overstated that A Wrinkle in Time is every bit a children's movie. There can be movies for children which play well for all ages, and while I do feel that this has some broader appeal, it is not a movie in which you will f...

This is not going to be a traditional movie review because as you will have read, I have nothing new to say about the movie other than the fact that it was garbage and I am disappointed in everyone involved.  I can't give a plot summary, because the story hasn't changed from adaptation to adaptation, nor from the initial novel. I can't praise the acting, because everyone is playing their lazy roles, doing whatever exerts the least energy to earn a paycheck. I can't say much for the scenery, because the movie is spent on a train in the snow bar a scene or two in Jerusalem and embarking on the train journey.  I can't really say anything, other than the fact that I hope Daisy Ridley and Leslie Odom Jr. and Lucy Boynton and the couple of other people in this movie that I don't mind had a fun time shooting with all of their peers, and that I'm glad Johnny Depp's character died pretty quickly so that I didn't have to look at his face for too long. Ra...

I have seen so many genuinely good movies over the last few weeks - I saw The Shape of Water ! I projected lots of things on to Call Me By Your Name ! - and yet all I want to talk about is this godawful disaster movie with Gerard Butler. It takes place slightly in the future, where climate change has been stabilized and then...destabalized, for nefarious purposes. Gerard Butler is a space scientist who needs to fix climate change, obviously, and Jim Sturgess is his brother in the government trying to solve things back on Earth. It's absolutely buckwild. Think The Day After Tomorrow , but everything is worse. It's amazing. They spend so much of this movie counting down to the titular geostorm, but we are never actually given a proper explanation for the storm in question. The characters shout buzzwords and phrases and I'm not sure anyone understands what's actually happening. The president gets to say things like "Because I'm the goddamn president of the Uni...

It's so much easier to write about bad films than good ones. I am overflowing with thoughts to share about the most memorably awful movies I watched on my trip - I really, really want to talk about Geostorm  - but there's very little I can say about Guillermo del Toro's newly Oscar winning film about a woman who falls in love with a fish man that has not already been said. You don't need me to tell you that del Toro makes beautiful movies, or that the creature creation in this (though no Pan's Labyrinth ) is spectacular. You don't need me to tell you that the visual effects in this are phenomenal, or that the music is wonderful, or that it transported me to another world. If you're looking for reviews of The Shape of Water at this point in 2018, what you need me to tell you is that a movie featuring not only boning down with a fish-man but also a female masturbation scene and a disabled woman finding her agency. If the main playing field of this blog is femi...