Lucy (2014)

I need a “Sara’s watching garbage” jingle. This is the first post on this converted blog with one of the truly, truly garbage entries! What utter garbage this movie was. 
I know you have to set aside some judgement on the science side of things, because this is a movie about one of ~those~ super drugs and in this case, Lucy (Scarlett Johansson) is unwillingly used as a drug mule for said super drug until it ruptures in her guts and allows her to unlock - you guessed it - 100% of her brain. Yeah. It’s Limitless, but a little more self aware. And when I say "a little", I mean it. They know we want to see Scarlett Johansson beating people up and manipulating the physical world, but they don't trust us enough to want to watch it done with any semblance of realism.
So at this point I've set aside what little I know about the science of drugs and neurology, but even ignoring all of that body bullshit, it's impossible to ignore the reality imposed on you within the reality of the film. This film is full of its own shit, constantly spouting its own pseudoscience  - Morgan Freeman's character most egregiously, as the brain science academic. Full brain function makes you a psychic shapeshifting timebending super-hacking superhero. That’s the movie’s plot. I don't need to tell you anything else.
Johansson gives a blank, emotionless performance which is calculated, but strips the movie further of any personality. Morgan Freeman doesn’t need to be there. Everything else about this movie is clinical and distanced, impossible to forge a connection with or even to really have fun with.
Here’s where I tell you the things you should know about this movie, even if you don’t watch it. You should absolutely know that there is a montage of animals having sex in this movie. You should absolutely know that this is followed immediately by a montage of animals giving birth. That's all you really absolutely need to know.
Rating: 2/10 - It’s garbage, but I guess I'll concur that it's aesthetically appealing and slickly made. Maybe if you’re having a bad movie night, it could work? No, you're better than that. Dude, just watch Face/Off again.

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