The Stepfather (2009)

2009′s The Stepfather is a remake of the 1987 thriller with Terry O’Quinn (Locke-from-Lost) with both focusing on a serial killer whose MO is worming his way into the lives of single mothers before going on to the serial killing thing. It’s a real long play.  It’s pretty clean when it comes to scares and kills, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but coupled with the smattering of overacting and the heavy passing back and forth of the idiot ball and the whole thing stands true to the reputation of PG-13 horror. 

For all of its cheesiness, it does boast a surprisingly recognisable cast (Penn Badgley and Amber Heard as highschoolers, the latter constantly in a bikini which is both sleazy and so pleasing to my little queer heart; Dylan Walsh as the serial-killing-step-father and Sela Ward from my sneaky CSI days as his current target) and the cat and mouse game is quite a fun ride, but it never truly escapes or even embraces the stupidity of decisions made or the inherent cheesiness of the material. It stops being funny and starts being frustrating the fifteenth time Susan ignores someone telling her that her fiancé tried to choke her child/refuses to give any personal information/keeps giving different stories/is acting suspicious/threatened someone.

Also, for those of you who play a little game I call “spot the LGBT characters” when you’re watching horror movies - notoriously a terrible genre for them - you might be interested to note that if you look very, very closely, not only are there a lesbian couple in this but (spoiler) they don’t both die! Representation in horror films - there’s a low bar.

Rating: 3/10 - ultimately, forgettable. Generally worth an eye roll or two.